


I never needed anyone so much

by broken_fannibal



Category: Supernatural
Genre: "alpha" Cas/ "omega" Dean, Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha Sam Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bickering, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Body Swap, Bottom Dean, Bottom Dean Winchester, But not for sex, Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues, Castiel in Heat, Castiel/Dean Winchester in the Bunker, Communication, Condoms, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dean Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Winchester Talks About Feelings, Dean's a bit of an assshole but I promise it'll get better, Domestic Fluff, Fallen Angel Castiel (Supernatural), First Time Bottoming, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Heat Sex, Hugs, Human Castiel, Kissing, Knotting, Love Confessions, M/M, Massage, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Morning Kisses, Naked Cuddling, Omega Castiel, Omega Castiel/Alpha Dean Winchester, Omega Verse, Praise Kink, References to Knotting, Scarred Castiel, Scars, Self-Esteem Issues, Sex Toys, Sharing a Bed, Supportive Sam Winchester, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Undressing, Witch Curses, artificial knot, but apparently thats not an existing tag, dean´s a nerd, its for, talking about feelings, verse dean winchester, well technically more like, why is that not an existing tag?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-10 19:17:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15955799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_fannibal/pseuds/broken_fannibal
Summary: They were hunting a witch and she cursed Dean. He - an alpha!- got switched with an omega in heat. Things go downhill from there.Or do they?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from Save Yourself by My Darkest Days
> 
> This fic finished, I´ll post one chapter a week.

They were hunting a witch and somehow she had cursed Dean seconds before he stabbed her. He was thrown across the room and knocked unconscious as he hit the wall.

Sam rushed over to his brother after making sure the witch was dead. He shook Dean and called his name, but he didn't wake up. He checked for a pulse and tried again. Still no reaction. Sam decided to get Dean back to the motel and think about to do there. He packed their gear, put his brother on the passenger seat and started the engine.

 

Cas unlocked the door to his motel room, his arms loaded with grocery bags. He had hurried to restock because his heat was due, he could feel it. He unpacked everything and just when he had divested himself of his clothes to change into something more comfortable he felt the first drops of slick. With a sigh, Cas grabbed a bottle of water from the counter and took it with him to the bed. After setting it down on the nightstand, he opened the drawer and picked a dildo with a small knot at the base. It would be enough for now.

Cas lay back on the bed, slowly slid his fingers down to the cleft of his ass, feeling the slickness. He circled his hole, pressing gently until it relaxed enough to take two fingers. He slowly pushed them inside, groaned because it was just on the right side of too much. And he wanted more. Now. Cas fucked himself with two fingers for a while, then he added another finger. It didn't take long until it wasn't enough anymore. He was too impatient to prepare himself more. He reached for the dildo and placed the tip at his hole. Without much resistance, it slid inside. He moaned at the stretch, it was almost painful but just right. Before he had fully gotten used to the girth, he started moving it. The friction felt wonderful. He touched his cock, roughly stroking it a couple of times. On instinct, he moved up to rub one of his nipples. His hole tightened and sucked the dildo in even further. The knot pressed against his hole now. He moaned and pushed it forward. When the knot slipped into his body, he gave a startled yelp. He felt so full all of a sudden. He sat up, kneeling on his bed and working the knot inside his hole. It didn't take long, he could feel his climax approaching. Faster than he had been prepared for, he flew over the edge and collapsed onto the mattress. His breathing was rough and everything felt too much, his head was spinning. Then he passed out.

 

From the moment he opened his eyes his whole body was instantly alert. Everything smelled of alpha. Last thing he knew was coming after that he couldn´t remember a thing. He shifted one of his arms. At least he was dressed. And he wasn't in heat anymore either. Cas slowly lifted his head and carefully looked around. He was in a car, there was a man driving, a tall alpha. He checked the back seat, no one else was there. That motion must have drawn the other man's attention.

“Finally awake? I thought I'd have to carry you into the motel room! That witch hit you pretty hard, huh?” The man chuckled and shook his head. There was a fond tone in his voice.

Cas frowned, not knowing what to say.

“You okay?” The alpha asked.

“Yes, I'm-” He paused. What had happened to his voice? Cas blinked in irritation. He looked down at his hands and noticed they weren't his. He looked into the side mirror, there was another man staring back at him.

“Dude, what's wrong? You're acting weird.”

Cas licked his lips, trying to choose his next words carefully. “I- I am not whoever this” he gestured over his body “person is.”

Sam frowned. “What?” Was Dean playing a prank on him again?

“What is his name?” Cas asked.

“Who?” Sam asked as he parked the car in the motel parking lot.

Cas pointed at himself.

“Oh. Uh, Dean. My brother.” Sam guessed it would be best to play along for now.

Cas nodded. “Okay. I am not Dean. I don't know what happened. One moment I was in my motel room, the next I woke up in your car.”

Sam frowned. “Okay... So who are you?”

“My name is Castiel.” After a short pause, he asked: “What's your name?”

“Sam.” He looked at Castiel a while longer. “Well, let's get inside and talk there.”

They both got out of the car and Cas followed Sam into the room.

Sam offered him a chair and a drink. From the way Castiel moved and talked it became clearer and clearer it wasn't Dean. Dean might be able to act a bit but not this well and definitely not for this long without bursting into laughter. He sat down opposite to Cas and asked him where he was from.

Cas told him and in turn, asked where they were at the moment.

 

Dean groaned, his body was hot and sticky. Whatever that witch did to him, he had to stop it as soon as possible. He opened his eyes and tried to get up. Everything was too bright. And he was... on a bed?

“Sam?” he croaked. Confused at the sound of his voice he cleared his throat and tried again. “Sam? You here?” He didn't sound like himself? What the hell?

Dean jumped as he sat down and felt something pressing into his butt. Reaching back and he discovered it was a dildo. A slick dildo. His gaze wandered down his body as he reached back. This wasn't his body. Panic settled in his gut, cold and heavy, in sharp contrast to the heat of his body. His fingers came back wet from where he had touched his asshole. Dean took a deep breath to try to calm himself- and that's when he smelled it. Omega. Everywhere. The whole room smelled of omega, an omega in heat on top of that. And worst of all he was that omega. He raced to the bathroom and dumped the sticky dildo into the sink. After washing his hands and face he looked into the mirror. A flushed man stared back at him. Dean groaned when he felt something running down his thighs. He didn't want this. He didn't want this! He was an alpha! Having heats was for omegas! He clenched his jaw, took the dildo and went back to the bed. God, he hoped Sam would find him fast! He didn't want this! His cock was hard and his hole pulsed, constantly leaking slick. There was a primal need to be filled and fucked that he found more than a little disturbing. It felt so wrong.

Dean lay down on the bed and took a deep breath before pushing the dildo into his hole. It went in a little too easily. He wondered what this was supposed to do, how this even felt good to omegas. Then the dildo was all the way inside of him, with the knot pressing against his hole. A choked gasp escaped him. He moved the dildo several times, revelled in the feeling of the knot pressing against him, stretching him. Then the knot slipped inside. He came with a broken cry.

He lay there on the bed, limp and unable to move for the next minutes. The dildo slid out of his hole and smeared a sticky wet trail on his thigh. It felt disgusting. But he still couldn't move. His breath was ragged and there was a strange sensation deep in his stomach. A tickling, tingling warmth. The hormone rush of release. As Dean slowly gained control of his limbs again, he felt new waves of arousal. Of that primal need to be filled. He groaned as he tried to get up. How did omegas go through heats? How were they able to stand it? It was awful. He just wanted to lie down and do nothing.

The arousal was driving him mad. His hole twitched and pulsed and this body was screaming for a knot, a cock, something! He emptied the water bottle on the nightstand before giving in to this urge he figured he wouldn't be able to fight, anyway.

 

“Do you know what happened?” Cas asked.

"Uh... I have an idea.” Sam chewed on his lower lip. “I'll try to explain, don't freak out okay?"

Cas frowned. "Okay."

"My brother and I, we... met a witch, an evil witch. Dean attacked her and before she died, she threw some kind of curse at him. I'm guessing that's what this is."

"A witch?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah. Like magic and-"

"Yes, I know. Why were you meeting with a witch?"

"We're.... hunters. We, uh, kill anything supernatural that threatens people." Sam looked at Cas, waiting for him to freak out or start laughing at him. But he didn't.

"Oh, okay. You are hunters, that makes sense. And the witch's curse caused this... situation?"

"It's the only possibility I see." Sam answered.

Cas nodded. Then his eyes widened. "We need to get to your brother!"

Sam immediately looked alarmed. "Why? What is it?"

"I- Before I came to in your car I was in heat."

Sam frowned. Then understanding dawned on his face. "You're an omega."

"Yes. And since your brother is an alpha... Well, let's just say, I doubt he'll like what he finds..."

Sam nodded. "Okay, let's go." He grabbed all their stuff and put it in the car.

After checking out of the motel, they were on their way.

 

When Dean's breath had calmed after the next orgasm, he found that the burning in his gut had cooled down as well. Maybe the heat was over. Shit, he hoped it was. He didn't want to be forced to do this again. He wasn't made for this. With a deep sigh, he got up and went to the bathroom again.

There he took a cold shower, just let the water wash over him and clean away all the sweat and slick and come. When he stepped out of the shower, he felt refreshed but realised he was very thirsty. And hungry. He hurried to get to the fridge. Toast, butter, salami, cheese. Perfect. While the toast was in the toaster he drank a whole 1-litre bottle of water. He ate three sandwiches and two apples until he was finally sated. With a towel around his waist, he slumped down on the couch and zapped through the channels. After a while, he found a rerun of one of his favourite cartoons. He grinned and leaned against the backrest. Several episodes later, he noticed he was starting to sweat again. A realisation crept up his spine. This wasn't over. This was far from over. He switched off the TV, drank a bit more and took a piss before reluctantly going back to the bed. Why did this have to happen?

Dean picked up another dildo and groaned in frustration as the next wave of slick ran down his thighs.

His bod- no! It wasn't his body! This body seemed to love the idea of using the bigger dildo, stretching him, fucking him deeper. Dean groaned at the thought, he was already hard again and his hole demanded to be filled. All primal impulses that he wanted to fulfil but also didn't at the same time.

Why did the witch have to do this to him? Why not switch him with a beta? Or an omega that wasn't in fucking heat! That would've been good enough, right?

The need to be full again got more and more intense, he craved it. Craved a hot body above him, holding him down, fucking him hard. He grunted and realised he had started stroking his cock.

"Fuck," he muttered and dropped his hand. All these omega desires felt so close, too close. He really wanted that. Wanted a big alpha to knot him and breed him and kiss him. He moaned at the thought. Waves of heat pulsed through his body, getting stronger the longer he went without touching himself. Dean closed his eyes and slicked up the dildo. It was much bigger than the one he had used before, had ridges along the shaft and knot. Even the tip was rougher in texture. Sliding over it with his hand felt like stroking an alpha's cock, hard and ready for him. He turned onto his side and pressed the dildo against his hole. The head slid in almost immediately. The rest was too thick. A moan escaped him, high-pitched and needy. Another wave of slick leaked from his hole, making it easier to push the cock inside. The bumps and ridges gave such a good friction. He moved it, twisted and turned. It felt great. He couldn't get enough of it. Wanted more and more every second. The deeper he pushed the better it felt. He tensed and cried out when he hit his prostate. He did it again. And again. The arousal pooled in his gut, impossible to hold back. One, two more times and that was it. He was coming.

He slumped down on the mattress. The cock still inside him, brushing against his walls with every twitch of his hole. When it got too much, he pulled it out and collapsed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you like it! Please consider leaving kudos/ comments!
> 
> The next chapter will be up next week.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Cas arrive at the motel, they´re both nervous about what condition they´ll find Dean in.

After a while of driving in silence, Sam asked: "You seemed pretty relaxed when I told you about the witch and being a hunter. Why didn't you freak out?"

"I know about hunters and the creatures out there."

Sam frowned. "How come?"

Cas sighed. "I... was an angel. But I fell. I lost my grace."

Sam was quiet for a while. "Dad always said there are no angels."

"He was wrong."

"Huh..." Sam scoffed. "So you.. got kicked outta heaven? And lost your- what was it?"

"Grace. They took my grace. It is the source of angelic power."

"Okay, wow. I-" he shook his head. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Castiel nodded.

 

They were quiet for a long while, both lost in their own thoughts.

Castiel realised that he liked being an alpha. Maybe it was because he had just been in heat a few hours ago. But he felt more in control of his own body.

 

Several hours later they stood in front of the door of Cas motel room, exchanging worried glances.

Castiel took a deep breath and nodded. Anxiety settled in his gut at the thought of what he might find. He knocked. When there was no reaction after half a minute he knocked again. Still nothing.

Sam knocked with more force and called: "Dean! It's me! Come on man, open the door!"

They heard shuffling behind the door. Then the lock clicked at the door swung open.

Cas´ eyes widened. He saw himself standing there, face and chest flushed. He was wearing nothing except a towel.

 

Dean licked his lips when he opened the door. He smelled alpha. Two alphas. He moaned and instinctively stepped closer.

Sam cleared his throat and took a few steps back. "Uh, Cas you got this right? D´you need anything?"

Cas managed to tear his eyes away from Dean just enough to say "Yes. Water and food."

Sam all but ran away while Cas pushed Dean back a little and stepped inside. He locked the door and took a shuddering breath.

The smell of omega in heat did things to his body. He could already feel his cock harden. It felt strange but so good at the same time.

Dean pressed closer, not even noticing when the towel slipped down his waist. He sniffed at the alpha's neck and groaned. He couldn't resist licking the sweat off his skin. Smelling and tasting alpha.

Cas could smell slick and the intoxicating sweet scent of heat. It clouded his brain, he had the urge to push Dean down right there and fuck him.

Not so much in control now, he thought. He shook his head, tried to think clearly. He remembered getting condoms with his sex toy order. Now he was glad he had them, they were still in the drawer of the nightstand. He divested himself of his clothes, heard a needy moan from the bed. It was so weird to see his own face, his own body and still get aroused. The omega had turned onto his belly, tilting his hips, humping the mattress and at the same time presenting for him. He groaned and quickly grabbed a condom package. He rolled it onto his cock with a bit of trouble and kneeled on the bed. He positioned himself behind Dean, grabbing his hips and settling the tip of his cock against his hole.

Dean gasped and moaned and arched his back under his touch. The sight was intoxicating. He wanted to push inside in one go and fuck him hard and knot him and- wow. Was this how alpha's felt every time an omega in heat was near? It was so intense. Cas licked his lips and gripped his cock to slowly guide it into the omega´s hole. Once he was inside, Dean canted his hips and pushed back, needy, wanting more.

Dean's breath came in pants and needy moans that he couldn't hope to hold in anymore. The thickness of the alpha's cock was so good. So big. Filling him and fucking him. But he wanted more. He whined, trying to form words. "Ple- please! Ah- more! I-" the words got stuck in his throat at a powerful thrust. He collapsed and cried out. It felt so good. So deep. He felt the knot pressing against his hole with every thrust. The pace got faster, more ruthless. And oh, how he wanted that.

Cas moved on instinct, pounding into the omega faster and faster. He couldn't stop. Couldn't slow down. His knot slipped into the omega and the pressure felt amazing. He saw stars. His hips kept rocking forward.

Dean cried out as the knot finally slipped inside. It was too thick, too deep, too much and he still wanted more. The alpha rocked his hips, nudging his cock deeper.

Cas felt the omega´s hole pulsing around his cock. He had to close his eyes. It was too much. He caressed the omegas back, told him how good he did. How good he felt.

A shudder went down Dean's spine, he shivered at the praise.

Cas slowly came back to his senses, still buried deep in Dean's body. His own body. It felt so strange. Wrong but right at the same time. He shook his head and carefully maneuvered them into a lying position. Dean whined when the knot was pulled a little, his hole tightened instinctively.

Finally, they were laying on their sides, Cas curled around Dean's back, arms wrapped around his middle.

They fell asleep like that.

 

When Dean woke up, he was warm. Not heat warm, but still too warm to be comfortable. And sticky and sweaty. He opened his eyes and tried to move. There were arms wrapped around him. His head rested on a man's chest. He scrambled backwards and fell off the bed.

Cas woke up because of a loud sound. He couldn't place it at first. His eyes snapped open and he saw himself- well, Dean- sitting on the floor, staring at him in panic.

He slowly sat up. "Relax. Do you remember what happened?"

Dean frowned. He was looking at himself. Kind of. He talked differently, his gestures were different. And he was naked. He cleared his throat and reached for the water bottle on the nightstand. "I remember waking up with a dildo halfway up my ass. And being in heat."

Cas nodded. "Okay, good. Your brother told me you encountered a witch who cursed you. We think that the curse caused this... body switch."

Dean frowned. "Then what are you doing here, naked, in my bed?"

"Your brother and I, we drove here to help you. He went to buy more groceries and I... well...", he blushed and stared at the mess of sheets on the bed. "I helped you with the heat."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, okay. I remember an alpha."

"That was me." Cas helpfully supplied.

"I fucking know it was. Thanks for clarifying." Dean rolled his eyes and got up. He winced and limped to the bathroom.

Cas sat on the bed and listened to the shower. A minute after he heard the shower stop he slowly made his way to the bathroom. The door opened.

Dean tensed and took a step back. He looked up at the taller alpha. Shit, the omega in him felt intimidated. He quickly left the bathroom and went to the closet to pick out some new clothes.

Cas quickly took a shower and came out with a towel wrapped around his waist.

Dean sat at the counter with a half empty bottle of water in front of him. "You're out of food." He said as Cas was just reaching for the clothes to get dressed again.

"Your brother bought something, we can call him and he can bring it here."

Dean nodded. He searched the heap of his own clothes until he found his phone. "Hey, Sammy.- Yeah, of course, it's me. - This guy tells me you bought food? - Great. See ya."

About a minute later there was a knock on the door. Dean ran to the door and opened it. He licked his lips when he saw the grocery bag. He took it and rummaged through it. With a triumphant smile, he found the pre-cut apple pie and opened the box.

Sam chuckled and closed the door behind him. He wrinkled his nose at the smell of omega all around. He went to the windows and opened them.

 

After Dean had eaten they all sat down at the counter.

"You got any idea how to undo this?" Dean asked.

Sam shook his head. "Not really. When I sat in the cafe, I did some research but I'm not sure."

"Show me." Cas demanded.

Dean frowned but didn't object.

"Okay." Sam put his laptop on the counter and opened the pages he'd found.

Cas read through the first spell. "This will not work." He shook his head and clicked another tab. His eyes narrowed as he read the incantation. He immediately shook his head when he saw the third and last page. He went back to the second tab and said: "This should work. But we need to make a few adjustments."

"Like?" Sam asked.

"It says here that one should use the bone of a lamb. That could work but it is too risky. We should use a raven beak or feathers."

"I think we have raven feathers." Sam said. "I'll go get the supplies from the trunk."

It turned out they had all the ingredients for the spell at hand.

Sam mixed the potion and Cas said the incantation while stirring the potion with the raven feather. It glowed in a bright orange. They filled the potion into two cups and Cas and Dean drank it.

For several seconds nothing happened. Then their eyes shone orange while their bodies were lifted a few inches off the ground. The glowing stopped abruptly and they fell to the floor.

Dean groaned and look down at his body. With a triumphant grin, he got up.

Cas shifted and sat up, blinking in irritation.

Sam went to help him get up. "Everything back to normal?" he asked.

Dean nodded. "Yup, seems like it."

Cas nodded as well. "Yes."

Dean picked the cups up and put them in the sink.

Cas just stood there, watching him. He felt a slow realisation creeping up his spine, ice cold- he would never see them again. He would never see Dean again. He'd just disappear from his life and leave him an even bigger mess than he was before. Claws tore at his inside, digging into his heart. He took a shaky breath. His eyes wandered to Sam.

Sam was looking at him, worried. Then he gave an encouraging nod and left the room, leaving Cas and Dean alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you like it! Please consider leaving kudos/ comments! <3
> 
> The next chapter will be up next week.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will happen now? Will Cas confess his love? Will Dean just leave? Stick around find out!
> 
> (can you tell I suck at summaries?)

Dean had been picking up the rest of his clothes up from the floor. He put on his jacket and was about to leave when Castiel called his name.

He stopped with his hand on the doorknob. "Yeah?"

Heavy silence stretched between them.

It was something in the tone of Castiel's voice that had Dean wait, regardless.

"I..." A deep breath. "For what it's worth..." Cas` voice was shaking. "I'm in love with you."

Dean's eyes widened. He didn't know what to say.

"I- I know it doesn't matter to you. But I thought I could just say it since we'll never see each other again, anyway. I'm sorry- I'm sorry if I overstep-"

"Cas shut it." Dean interrupted and turned around.

Cas stared at him, wide-eyed and hurting.

"Sorry." Dean muttered. His gaze flicked over the floor as he tried to find the right words. He nodded. "I- I fe-..." he exhaled shakily. "I feel the same." He still didn't look up.

He couldn't see the utter relief and surprise on Castiel's face.

Cas slowly came closer. "Dean?" his voice was quiet, careful.

Dean licked his lips and hesitantly looked up.

Cas saw his own insecurity reflected in Dean's eyes. His heartbeat quickened as he tried to figure out what to say. He didn't know, there was no elegant way to ask. Before any more time could pass he blurted out: "Can I come with you?"

Dean's eyebrows shot up. "I- What?"

Cas carefully looked up at Dean, dreading the expression he might see, but needing to confirm what he hoped would be there. There was surprise on Dean's face, no rejection.

"I... know you probably only have a motel room like me... but I- I don't want to be alone. I want to be with you, Dean."

Dean nodded. "Yeah. Okay." His face was void of any expression.

"Is that a yes?" Cas inquired

Dean nodded again. He shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans. "I'll leave you to pack your stuff." He turned around, not looking at Cas.

Cas reached out, got hold of Dean's arm. Another impulsive decision.

Dean stared down at the hand on his arm, then looked up at Cas.

Their eyes met again. This time Dean saw his own insecurity in Castiel's eyes. He relaxed and waited.

Cas carefully stepped closer until they were only inches apart. He slid his hands up Dean's arms until they came to rest at his elbows. Then he looked up into Dean's eyes again and leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips.

Dean pulled back, surprised. Conflict played over his features. He looked away, avoided Cas, his jaw clenched and he licked his lips. His eyes flicked up to Castiel's once before they fixed on his shoulder again. Then, all of a sudden, Dean grabbed his head and pulled him in for a kiss, his eyes squeezed shut as their lips met.

Cas´ eyes widened. It was messy at first, noses bumping together, breaths rough. 

Dean sighed and tilted his head. He slid one hand down to the side of Castiel's neck, the other curled around the back of his head.

Cas hummed and let his eyes slide shut. Their kiss eased into a slow slide of lips.

Cas slid his hands up Dean's body, over his back, to his shoulders. He couldn't help but moan when he felt Dean's tongue on his lower lip. He cupped Dean's face in a hand and opened his mouth, slid his tongue along Dean's lips and was rewarded with a deep groan.

Cas got so lost in the kiss that he didn't realise he desperately needed air until Dean pulled back.

They stood their foreheads resting against each other, panting. Dean dipped down to steal another quick kiss. Then he leaned back completely, his face was flushed.

Cas smiled at the sight. It was truly beautiful.

Dean was left dumbstruck by the fondness in Castiel's eyes. It was... so much. No one had ever looked at him like that. Like he was something precious.

He closed his eyes for a moment and was about to let go and leave when Cas grabbed him by the jacket and pulled him in for a hug. Dean didn't know how to react at first. Castiel's face was buried in the crook of his neck and his arms were holding him tightly. Dean slowly raised his arms and hugged him back. He heard a soft sound from Cas.

Castiel pushed his face closer to Dean, the grip on his shirt tightened. In turn, he felt a hesitant touch to his lower back and Dean's other hand settled between his shoulder blades. He shivered.

Neither of them knew how long they had stayed like this.

A loud knock on the door interrupted them. "Dude, what's taking so long?"

Dean quickly pushed away from Cas and hurried to open the door.

Cas stood there, a little dumbfounded, but he felt happiness bubble in his chest. It spread throughout his body, warmed his chest, his stomach, his limbs, all the way to the tips of his fingers. Dean cared about him, loved him, he really did.

"Cas is coming with us." Dean blurted out.

"Oh. Uh, okay." Sam looked a little confused. "You guys together now?"

Dean's froze, his face was carefully empty.

Cas didn't dare say anything either.

Sam frowned briefly. "I don't mind, you know."

Dean relaxed a little. Then he nodded slowly. "We're... together. I guess."

A huge grin spread over Sam's face, he looked over at Cas then back at Dean. He hugged his brother, patting his back. "I'm happy for you, man."

Dean nodded, a careful smile on his face.

Sam turned to Cas. "Welcome to the family."

Castiel's eyes widened. He had never dreamed to be accepted so gladly. But it felt wonderful.

He smiled at Dean, his happiness and relief mirrored on Dean's face.

"Right, then, uh... we'll leave you to it. We'll wait in the car." Dean looked back at Cas one last time before closing the door behind him.

Cas grinned and there was a swing to his steps as he went around the room to gather his few belongings and put them in the bag. He stood there a while, revelling in the soft warm feeling in his chest.

He let his gaze wander around the room one last time before taking the key and closing the door. Then he went to the reception to check out.

Back at the car, he knocked on the window on the driver side where Dean was sitting.

"I'm ready." he announced after Dean had rolled down the window.

"Cool! Hop in." he gestured to the back seat.

Cas nodded and opened the door. He sat down and put his bag next to him.

The engine roared to life and they got on the road.

"Where we going?" Sam asked.

"Well, you said you got all our stuff from the motel, so I'd say bunker?" Dean looked over at his brother for a second.

Sam nodded. "Sounds good."

Cas frowned. "What is the bunker?"

"Uh, it's like our home. Has been since we found it like a year ago."

"Oh, okay." Cas nodded.

"It's an underground base from this old society of hunters. There's a library and lots of space." Sam explained.

"Ah." Cas hummed.

"And we finally have a proper kitchen!" Dean added.

Sam chuckled. "Still can't believe you're so excited about the kitchen. I mean getting your own room, sure. But that?"

"Come on man, we never had that. Sometimes these shitty excuses for a kitchen in the motels but even that was rare."

Sam just scoffed. "Careful or you'll turn into a housewife."

Dean just rolled his eyes. "Do I need to remind you who cooked for us when Dad was gone on a job? That was me."

"I know, I know." Sam muttered.

"Good."

"I take it back. You're allowed to be excited about having a kitchen, mom." Sam bit his lip to stop from laughing.

"Hey!" Dean hit Sam over the back of his head. "Don't get cocky."

Sam scoffed. "Did you just quote Han Solo?"

Dean shrugged and stayed quiet but there was a smug grin on his face.

 

The rest of the drive was mostly silent. Cas must've fallen asleep at some point because when he woke up someone gently shook his shoulder. He blinked and raised his head.

It was Sam. "Hey, sorry to wake you. It's about dinner time. You hungry?"

Cas nodded. "Yes."

Dean looked at him through the rearview mirror. "Alright. What do you want? They got burgers, salads, wraps, all kinds of stuff."

"Um... A wrap?"

"Just one?" he asked.

"I don't know..." Castiel shrugged

Dean turned around. "I'll just get two and if you don't want both, I'll eat the other one." He patted the steering wheel and got out of the car.

"Uh, Dean?" Sam called after him.

Dean leaned in through the open window. "Yeah?"

"Bring me a big milkshake. Raspberry and banana."

Dean shook his head. "Alright, princess. Anything else I can bring you?"

Sam laughed. "Fuck off."

Dean mock-bowed and went into the store.

Again Cas was surprised by the brothers, how kind they were. He was very lucky to have met them.

"Why´re you smiling?" Sam asked, a curious tone in his voice.

Cas looked up, he hadn't been aware he was smiling. "I... I thought about what happened over the last two days. How I met you both. And... it's strange how much can change in so little time." He shook his head in wonder.

Sam chuckled. Then something came to his mind. "Have you told Dean you're an angel?"

"Uh, no. I haven't." He frowned, confused by the sudden change in topic.

"Well, you'll have enough time to tell him later. Guess you guys´ll need some time to figure everything out anyway."

Cas nodded. "Yes."

They were silent for a while longer and then Dean already came back.

He got into the car and handed each of them their food.

When they were done, Sam collected the wrappings and put them in the trash.

 

Three hours later Dean parked the Impala in front of the bunker.

They went inside, Sam went to the library and while Dean was immediately on his way to his room, Cas stood at the top of the stairs and looked around. He took in the huge table below, the long tables in the library.

Sam cleared his throat. "Uh, Dean? Aren't you forgetting someone?"

Dean frowned for a split second as he turned around. Then his eyes widened and searched the room for Cas. He finally found him at the top of the stairs. "Cas?" he called out.

Castiel snapped out of his daze and fixed his eyes on Dean. "Yes?"

"You coming?"

"Yes." He hurried down the stairs, letting his hand slide over the smooth rail as he went.

He followed Dean for a while until he asked: "Where are we going?"

"My room." Dean mumbled, keeping his head down.

"Oh." he said softly. He could see the light blush at the tips of Dean's ears.

When they arrived, Dean tossed his duffel bag onto the chair in a corner and took off his jacket. He sat down on the foot of his bed and patted the place next to him.

Cas stood in the door for a while longer before dropping his bag down next to Dean's. He carefully walked to the bed and sat down beside Dean.

Silence hung heavy in the air.

"Are you okay with this?" Dean asked quietly.

"With what?" Cas cocked his head.

"I mean I basically turned your life inside out. Expected you to come with me and..." he trailed off.

"I don't mind." Cas began. "I... Dean, I asked you if I could come with you." He remembered Sam asking if he had already told Dean he was an angel. Now was a good time, wasn't it? "And I wouldn't say you turned my life inside out. I was just settling in, getting used to... well, everything. You know, I'm not human. Or was for that matter."

Dean frowned and leaned back a little, suddenly wary. "What are you?"

"An angel. Well, I was before I fell and lost my powers." He paused. "I am human now."

"An angel?" Dean echoed.

"Yes."

"Never thought they existed. Thought it was all just a myth."

Cas smiled to himself. "No, we exist."

"Huh..." Dean nodded. "Okay."

"And not too long before all this happened, I fell from Heaven. I lost my wings, my powers, everything. I was alone, had to deal with everything on my own. And... meeting you and your brother... I'm grateful because now I am not alone anymore." He looked back at Dean with a softness in his gaze.

Dean nodded. He didn't know what to say, so he leaned closer and placed a fleeting kiss on Castiel's cheek. He leaned back immediately and stared down at his feet. "I'm glad I met you too.", he mumbled. It felt like such a huge thing to say.

A delicate smile spread on Cas´ face.

Dean took off his shoes and got up to divest himself of his flannel and his jeans.

Cas frowned at him in confusion. "What are you doing?"

"I wanna lie down on the bed." A lot quieter, he added: "With you."

"Oh." Castiel said softly. He got up as well and took off his shoes. He watched Dean round the bed and lie down in his underwear and a t-shirt. He swallowed hard. He couldn't stop staring. Dean's thighs were surprisingly muscular. And those hands! They looked so strong. Cas couldn't even imagine all the places he wanted-

He was snapped out of it when Dean called his name.

Cas cleared his throat and averted his gaze. He heard a rustle of fabric and suddenly Dean was there. Kneeling in front of him on the bed.

He cocked his head before reaching out to tug off Castiel's suit jacket and tossing it over the chair in the corner. Next, he undid the fastening of his pants, they dropped to the floor and Cas stepped out of them. Dean reached for his shirt and started unbuttoning it.

"Oh." he said after the first few buttons. "You're not wearing a t-shirt under this." His eyes skipped up to Castiel's face.

"Yes." he confirmed, unsure where Dean was going with this.

Dean continued unbuttoning the shirt. "Not gonna risk it getting all wrinkled.", he muttered as an explanation. When he was done, he slid his hands under the shirt to Castiel's shoulders and slid it down his arms. Cas took it and put it over the chair with the suit jacket. When he turned around to come back to the bed, he bumped into Dean who was directly behind him.

He had one hand raised, his expression was concerned. "Cas?"

"Yes?"

"Where did you get these scars?" Dean's voice was soft, worried. He turned Cas around by his shoulders and gently touched the right scar with two fingers, let them slide over the skin. The scars were on Castiel's shoulder blades.

Cas gave a soft sigh at the touch. "That's where my wings... used to be." he explained, his voice shaky.

"Oh..." Dean nervously licked his lips. "Do they hurt? I know the bigger scars I have, they hurt sometimes. They're... not nearly as big."

Castiel nodded and stared at the floor between his feet.

"You sighed when I touched them before. Do you want a massage?" Dean asked.

Cas looked up. "Yes."

"Wanna go lie down?" Dean rested a hand on the small of Cas` back.

Castiel found the small touch relaxing, reassuring. He nodded.

Dean went to the bed and sat down on it again. He patted the left pillow.

Cas slowly walked to the side of the bed. He lay down on his stomach. He could feel the mattress shift where Dean was moving.

"Tell me if you're uncomfortable, okay?"

Cas hummed.

Dean sat down beside him and reached out to touch again. He slid his fingers over the scars. They were as long as his hand and almost as wide as his wrist. He stroked the marred skin, pressing and rubbing.

Judging by the soft sounds Castiel made, he enjoyed it. Soft hums and the occasional gasp told Dean what felt good for Cas.

When his hands started to hurt he slowly stopped and leaned down to plant a kiss on each scar. He didn't know why he did that. But it felt... right.

Castiel made a surprised sound. He turned onto his back and sleepily looked up at Dean. "That was very nice, Dean." his voice was soft and gravelly.

Dean couldn't help but smile. "´m happy you liked it." He would never have imagined that he would ever fall so madly in love. That he'd care so much about another person who wasn't his brother.

He lay down next to Cas on his back.

Cas hummed in content and closed his eyes.

They stayed like that for a while.

 

Dean watched Cas. Watched his chest rise and fall with every breath, watched his eyes move beneath his eyelids. He turned onto his side and planted a kiss on Castiel's shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you like it! Please consider leaving kudos/ comments!
> 
> The next chapter will be up next week.


	4. Chapter 4

When Cas woke the next morning Dean lay with his back to him, curled up on his side. He smiled and closed his eyes again. The sound of Dean's regular breathing was relaxing to listen to. He drifted in and out of sleep over the next few hours.

The next time Cas opened his eyes Dean had turned onto his other side and lay with one arm outstretched towards him. He turned onto his side as well and reached out to touch Dean's hand. He caressed the palm with his fingertips. It brought a soft smile to his lips. Such a simple action, such a small touch. But the fact that he could just... do it, that was stunning.

Dean's hand twitched and he opened his eyes. "Why're you smiling?" His voice was a quiet rumble, rough from sleep.

Cas looked away. When Dean waited, he whispered: "I guess I'm... happy."

Dean made a surprised sound. "Okay."

Castiel shrugged, still smiling. He entwined their fingers and pulled their hands up so they lay between their chests.

Dean chuckled. "You're such a romantic."

"Is that bad?" There was just a hint of insecurity in his voice.

It made Dean regret saying it. "Nah, man. It's not."

"But?" Cas couldn't help thinking that Dean had wanted to say more.

Dean shook his head. He sighed, searching for words. "I'm not like that. Not really. Never had any real lasting relationships. In this line of work, it just doesn't happen."

Understanding dawned on Castiel's face. "I understand."

Cas pulled their hands closer and planted a soft kiss on Deans knuckles. This close he could see all the scars on Dean's hand. Some very small, some bigger. Layered, some fading red, others white. Most would never fade. He slowly looked up at Dean.

Dean had watched him. "Would take you ages to count all the scars."

Cas frowned, he looked down at Deans' hand again. "Probably." He leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on his fingers. When he looked up at Dean, he saw him swallowing hard and blushing. He shifted closer, stopped inches from Dean's face. "Can I-?"

"Yes."

Cas could feel Dean's breath on his lips. Hesitantly, he leaned closer, sealing their lips together in a slow kiss.

Dean sighed and slid his hands around Castiel's back to pull him closer. He deepened the kiss, opening his mouth, licking Cas` lips.

That earned him a small moan. Cas rested one hand on Dean's chest, feeling his fast heartbeat, the other wandered up Dean's neck to his jaw. He opened his mouth, wanting to feel Dean's tongue.

Dean groaned when he felt Cas opening his mouth for him. He brought their bodies even closer together, rolling his hips.

Castiel's breath hitched when he felt Deans erection against his thigh. His own hips twitched.

He broke the kiss when he heard the throaty groan Dean gave at the contact. Dean's eyes were closed, his mouth hung open. Cas took advantage of Dean's closed eyes and reached down to his crotch with one hand. He didn't know what to do, but he guessed he would just have to figure it out. Dean's surprised moan when he touched his cock could only mean it was good. He reached down further, stroking over the length of Dean's cock. He watched Dean's face in wonder, the way his eyes were at half-mast, his cheeks flushed. Occasionally, Dean bit his lip and his eyebrows drew together. The whine that escaped Deans throat when Cas reached into his underwear went straight to his cock. He could feel himself getting wet. He stroked Deans cock while kissing his neck.

Dean leaned his head back, giving him more access.

Cas smiled and whispered: "You enjoy this a lot, don't you?"

Dean moaned again, his voice was a deep rumble. "Yeah. Fuck, Cas."

Cas grinned and gripped Dean's cock a little tighter on the upstroke.

Dean's hands found his ass and squeezed it. He pushed Castiel's underwear down and reached for his cock.

Cas tensed and couldn't stop the surprised yelp from escaping his mouth. Dean started stroking his cock and it felt so good. He rested his head in the crook of Dean's neck, panting.

Cas got so overwhelmed that he stopped stroking Dean's cock. Dean grinned and took the matter into his own hands so to speak. He wrapped his hands around both their cocks, revelling in the heat of Cas dick. He thrust up into the tight tunnel of his hands.

Cas moaned again, the friction driving him mad.

Dean thought about what it would feel like to be inside Castiel. Would he be just as tight as this? Tighter? He groaned, he wanted that, wanted it so badly.

He took several deep breaths and asked: "Cas? Cas, can I- can I fuck you?"

The first answer he got was a breathless moan. Then: "Yes."

Dean grinned and leaned in close to steal a messy kiss from Cas. Castiel's hands tangled in his short hair, holding him there.

Dean gripped Cas hips and turned him on his back. He pulled their underwear down and tossed it away. His hands roamed over Castiel's body, up from his hips over his ribcage to his chest and shoulders. He broke the kiss for air but couldn't stay away for long. He slid his lips over Castiel's jaw, scraping his teeth over the light stubble.

This drew a guttural groan from Cas.

He grinned and went on to kiss and suck his way down Castiel's neck to his collar bones. He rested one of his hands on Cas shoulder while he slid the other down between his legs. He slowly reached between Castiel's cheeks, circling his hole and finding that it didn't take much to be able to push one finger inside.

Cas gave a soft sigh and instinctively spread his thighs wider.

Dean chuckled and kissed Cas while fingering him. Soon he could add a second finger. He leaned back to see Cas reaction when he found his prostate.

Cas moaned and threw his head back, his grip on Dean's arm tightened. Dean couldn't resist dipping down to nip at the exposed throat.

When he could easily pump four fingers in and out of Cas hole, he pulled back and asked again. "Cas? Can I... now?"

Cas just nodded.

"Are you sure?" Dean asked.

Cas spread his legs a little further. "Yes, Dean."

Dean nodded. Just as he was about to push inside, he cursed. "Shit, sorry Cas. Gimme a sec."

Cas looked up and frowned. "What is it?"

"Forgot a condom."

"Oh." he nodded. "I have some in my bag,"

Dean wiped his hands on the bedsheet and rummaged through the bag. It didn't take too long to find them. When he did, he tore the wrapper open and put it on. He kneeled between Cas legs and slowly pushed inside.

Cas groaned and wrapped his legs around Dean's hips.

Dean moaned and took one of Castiel's hands in his own, with the other he caressed Cas side. When he was almost completely inside, he pulled out nearly all the way and pushed in again. They both groaned in unison. The friction and tightness felt so good. Dean moved deeper with each thrust until his cock was all the way inside Cas. He could feel his knot getting bigger. Judging by the needy whine from Cas, he could feel it too.

"Dean- ah! Faster!"

Dean groaned at the command and obliged. He sped up, holding onto Castiel's hips for leverage. He leaned over Cas, kissing him while he ground his hips, pushing in deeper and deeper.

A high-pitched whine escaped from Cas throat when Dean's knot slipped inside.

Dean stilled for a moment. Getting used to the new tightness as well as giving Cas time to get used to the feeling.

Not too long after Cas impatiently rolled his hips, urging Dean to start moving again. He did.

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulders and pulled him down for a kiss. Dean couldn't hold in a moan at the different angle, it felt so much more intense. His thrusts sped up, got more and more uncontrolled. And Cas found he didn't mind at all. Dean's eyes were squeezed shut, open-mouthed pants made clear he was close to climax. Cas was too, his hole clenched, he saw and felt Dean shudder. His rhythm faltered and with a few last erratic thrusts, he came.

Dean collapsed on top of Cas, unable to move for a while.

Cas winced and nudged him.

Dean groaned and apologized. "Sorry." He carefully shifted and pulled out.

Cas gasped, he felt so empty. But Dean lay down next to him and wrapped his arms around his middle.

They lay like that for a long time. Cas shifted when the stickiness got too uncomfortable.

"Dean?"

"Hrm?"

"I want to take a shower. Will you join me?"

Dean propped himself up on one elbow. "Sure."

Cas rolled out of bed. He stopped at the door to the bathroom. "Are you coming?"

It took Dean a while to tear his eyes away from Castiel's naked body. His beautiful naked body. "I think I just did." he said with a grin.

Cas frowned for a short moment until he understood. He shook his head. "Very funny."

Deans grin widened, he got up. He stopped next to Cas and couldn't resist planting a soft kiss on his lips.

Cas made a soft noise and looked back at him with raised eyebrows.

Dean quickly looked away and went into the bathroom. He dropped the condom into the bin and stepped into the shower.

Cas hurried to follow him.

  
  


Sam sat in the kitchen, wondering when- or if they'd ever even come out of Dean's room at all.

Technically, they had to eat at some point but who knew how many snacks Dean had stashed in there.

He'd had breakfast a couple of hours ago and left the cereal and a bowl out for Dean out of habit. Now as he got back into the kitchen he took out a second bowl and set it down on the table.

As he had poured himself another cup of coffee, he could hear Dean's steps in the hallway. He grinned to himself.

He waited for them, leaning against the counter, sipping his coffee.

Dean saw him and immediately looked at the floor again.

Sam frowned at glanced over at Cas.

Cas shrugged, looking confused.

Dean made himself a cup of coffee. "Cas you want one too?"

"No, thank you. I prefer milk."

Sam snorted and coughed, trying to cover it up.

Dean glared at Sam as he went to the fridge, shaking his head. He knew exactly what his brother had been thinking. He got the milk from the fridge and poured Cas a cup.

Then he sat and took the cereal.

Cas took a seat next to him and pushed his bowl over so Dean would give him some as well.

They were all quiet but it wasn't uncomfortable.

When Sam had finished his second cup of coffee, he left and patted Dean on the back on his way out.

Dean kept his head down but smirked.

 

After they finished their breakfast Dean decided to give Cas a tour of the bunker. He showed him the library, the archive with the hidden demon trap and explained what the huge table near the entrance was for.

After they came back from a detour to the kitchen because Dean had been hungry, they walked through some corridors with countless empty unused rooms. Cas was lost, he was sure that if Dean left him here now, he wouldn't even find his way back to the kitchen. After a bit more walking Dean opened a door and Cas realised it was Dean's room.

"You know you can have your own room if you want." Dean offered.

Cas frowned, his head racing with what Dean meant by that. Was that the nice way of telling him he wanted his room to himself? Had Cas done something that made Dean not want to share a room with him? The list of reasons went on in his mind. He was torn from his thoughts when Dean gently touched his shoulder.

"Hey..." he whispered. "I just meant that- if you want- you can have your own room. You don't have to. It was just an idea."

Cas nodded. "Okay."

"What did you think I meant?" Dean asked.

"I thought it was your way of saying you didn't want me here. In your room." Castiel explained.

Dean frowned. "No. No, you can stay in my room." After a short pause, he added: "It can be our room."

At that Cas` eyebrows shot up and he stared at Dean in wonder.

Dean chuckled. "I mean it."

A tentative smile danced across Castiel's features.

  
  


They lay in bed side by side one evening several weeks later, both wrapped up in their own thoughts.

"Cas?" Dean asked quietly.

Cas turned his head to Dean. "Yes?"

Dean swallowed, nervously licking his lips. "I- I've been thinking about this for a while... uh... when we have sex it's always me... fucking you."

Cas narrowed his eyes.

Dean stared at the ceiling, trying to find the courage to say it. "I wanna try it the other way 'round." he blurted out.

Castiel's eyes widened. "What?"

Dean turned his head away. "Yeah, I know it's weird."

"No, Dean, no. That's not what I meant. I'm just surprised. And I'm not against it." Cas hurried to explain.

"Oh." Dean rolled onto his side to look at Cas.

"Can I ask wha- why you... want this?" Cas stumbled over the words.

"I remember bits from when we met. When I was in heat." He quickly added: "In your body."

Cas nodded, encouraging Dean to continue.

"And I... liked it. I liked letting someone- well, you- I liked it that you took charge. And the feeling of... you know..."

Cas nodded again. "I know. I understand." He turned onto his side as well. "And I'm more than happy to do that."

Dean breathed a big sigh of relief. He shuffled closer to Cas, seeking contact.

Cas leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Dean's lips.

That brought a smile to Dean's face.

"But it might not feel as good as you remember it, okay?" Cas said carefully.

"Hrm?" Dean frowned up at him.

"Well, you were in heat. It makes everything feel more intense. And better because your body craves it."

Dean nodded, still frowning slightly. "I still want to."

"I wasn't trying to talk you out of it." Cas reassured him. "I just want to make sure you don't have wrong expectations."

"Okay." Dean smiled. He planted a gentle kiss on Castiel's shoulder.

Cas beamed. The comfort they found in each other was wonderful.

Dean was silent for a while. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet, insecure. "Can you hold me?"

Again, Cas was surprised. But not unpleasantly. "Of course." He turned onto his back and opened his arms to Dean.

After a bit of hesitation, Dean rested his head on Castiel's shoulder and wrapped his arms around him.

Cas nuzzled into Dean's hair and hummed in content.

Dean exhaled softly. Feeling Cas' steady breaths in his hair, he drifted off to sleep.

  
  


The night two days later Dean said he wanted to do it.

They kissed, slow and gentle. Hands roamed and explored.

Dean felt the nervousness heavy in his gut, he couldn't shake it off.

Cas leaned back from their kiss and looked into Dean's eyes. He slid one hand up to cup his face and said: "I know you're nervous. But that's okay. You're allowed to be."

Dean nodded, his hands tightened in the fabric of Castiel's shirt. He swallowed and licked his lips. He was silent for a while longer, searching for words. "I don't know what to do."

Cas nodded and smiled gently. "I do, don't worry." He slid his hands under Deans shirt and pulled it off. Then he pushed at Deans' chest, guiding him to lie down on his back on the bed. He leaned down to kiss him again, Dean gradually relaxed.

His hands found their place on Cas hips. Hesitantly, he slid them under his shirt, up his back.

Cas hummed and kissed down Deans neck, nipping at him.

Dean huffed a soft laugh, then he pulled Cas shirt over his head.

Cas wriggled out of it and threw it off the bed. He stepped back and took off his pants. Then he crawled over Dean and pulled down his jeans as well.

"What now?" Dean asked.

Cas smiled, he lay down next to Dean and leaned in to plant a reassuring kiss on his lips. "I can start preparing you or we can just... kiss some more."

Dean hummed, he slid an arm around Cas back and started kissing him again.

It wasn't as slow as earlier, Dean pulled him closer, licked Cas lips.

Cas groaned and opened his mouth. He slid a hand up Deans naked body, cupped the back of his head.

Dean wrapped his arms tighter around Cas in turn.

Cas breath hitched when he felt Deans erection against his thigh. He wedged a leg between Deans thighs and pushed up.

Dean moaned into his mouth.

Cas leaned back a little and smirked. He slid his hands into Deans underwear to pull it off. Then he reached for the lube and planted a soft kiss on Deans belly. He started circling Dean's hole to prepare him, pushing gently. All the while he watched Deans face. He was a bit tense. So Cas crawled up to lie down next to him again and kissed him.

Dean could feel some of the tension leave his body when Cas kissed him. For now, it felt weird but from what he'd found out that was normal. He gasped when Cas slid the first finger in.

"Too soon?" Cas asked.

"No. Just feels strange."

Cas nodded and kissed him again.

Slowly Dean got used to the feeling. He relaxed.

Cas smiled and gently added a second finger.

Dean took a shuddering breath. He reached for Castiel's free hand.

A choked gasp escaped Dean when Cas found his prostate.

Cas smiled.

"Wow." Dean sighed

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

"Yeah."

Cas did it again and watched Dean shiver.

A while later Dean was able to take three fingers. His breath was rough, laced with moans.

Dean gave a broken cry when Cas slid in four fingers. He groaned and gripped Castiel's hand tighter.

Then when he was finally ready, Dean swallowed hard. He spread his legs for Cas.

"It's normal to be nervous." Cas reassured him.

Dean closed his eyes and nodded. "Okay." He reached for Cas hips to pull him closer. He kneeled between Dean's legs, watched him for a moment. "I can't believe we're going to do this. I can't believe we're doing this. I would've never-" he interrupted himself and leaned down to steal another kiss.

Dean pushed up into the kiss and smiled. He reached for Cas cock and rolled the condom on.

Cas moaned at the touch. After a short moment of hesitation, he pressed the tip of his cock against Dean's hole and pushed inside.

They both groaned in unison.

Dean spread his legs wider and Cas gripped his hips.

"Are you ready?" Cas asked.

Dean nodded. "Yeah. Please."

Castiel looked back at him with raised eyebrows but didn't comment on it.

Ever so slowly, he pushed inside.

Dean inhaled sharply and pressed a hand against Cas belly. "Ah- wait."

He did.

Dean took a few deep breaths, then he nodded.

Cas pulled out a little before he pushed back in.

That drew a moan from Dean.

Cas paused again when he was fully inside Dean.

"Is it all in?" Dean asked carefully.

Cas nodded. "Yes."

Dean exhaled shakily and couldn't help giggling. He reached for one of Castiel's hands, entwined their fingers. "Feels strange. But also really good."

Cas smiled and leaned down to kiss Dean.

Dean gasped at the pressure of the different angle. With his free hand, he reached for Cas hip and pulled him closer.

Slowly Cas started moving.

Dean's breath stuttered. His eyes slid shut and he sighed.

The sight was intoxicating. Having Dean beneath him, looking like that. The way Dean shuddered and moaned. He got drunk on the sight.

Dean couldn't keep his eyes open, the feeling of Cas inside him, over him. It was too much. He groaned at a particularly deep thrust.

After a while, he opened his eyes, looked up at Cas. He hadn't been ready.

Cas face was flushed, his mouth hung open, his brow furrowed in concentration.

Dean reached out, needed to touch. He pulled Cas down for a kiss. The different angle felt amazing. He wrapped his legs around Cas hips.

Cas cried out and moaned. He picked up the pace.

Dean threw his head back and squeezed his eyes shut. A moan caught in his throat when Cas found his prostate. "Cas, do that again!"

Cas did.

Dean was beyond words now, the only sound that left his mouth was incoherent stuttering.

Cas felt his orgasm building low in his stomach. He picked up the pace.

Dean cried out.

When Cas felt he was on the brink of orgasm he reached down and squeezed Dean's knot.

Dean's eyes shot open and he came all over his stomach.

Cas followed soon after. He fucked Dean through his own orgasm. 

He carefully pulled out before he collapsed half on top of Dean. 

They were both breathing hard. 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and planted a soft kiss on his shoulder. When he found his voice again, he said: "That was amazing." 

Cas beamed at him. "Really?" 

Dean chuckled and nodded. "Yeah." 

"I wasn't... too rough?" he asked hesitantly. 

"No." Dean answered. "Well, we'll see if I'm sore tomorrow." 

Cas nodded. "You probably will be." 

Dean shrugged and reached for Cas head. He pulled him down and whispered "Totally worth it though." before he kissed Cas. 

Cas moaned and leaned into the kiss. 

When they separated Cas whispered "I love you." against Dean's lips. 

Dean's eyes widened, he nodded. "I- Me, too." 

A big grin lit up Castiel's face. 

"We should go take a shower." Dean said after a while.

Cas nodded. "Yeah."

When they were clean again, they lay down on the bed. 

Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder and wrapped his arms around him. 

Dean smiled and pulled Cas even closer. 

It didn't take long until they drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you like it! Please consider leaving kudos/ comments!


End file.
